jumbuxiconfandomcom-20200215-history
Baneship
A baneship, sometimes referred to as a bane ship or Naranja model, was a type of spacecraft most often used by pirates, other outlaws, and nuns of the Pathologic Order. The primary defining characteristic of a baneship was its dependence on a unique, irreplaceable fuel source. Perhaps the most famous of these ships, Harrican Syldanade’s Argos, was rumored to have depended on the Golden Fleece for its power. Invention and Implementation The first recorded baneship, Aria, was introduced in 1653, property of star baron (and later pirate) Julius Naranja. Tired of traditional methods of travel and being bound by stellar law, Naranja commissioned the design and creation of a ship he publicized would be powered by human voice. It would only be revealed after completion of the ship and Naranja’s disappearance from traceable orbit that the human voice in question was not Naranja’s, but that of kidnapped legendary singer Reta Corpula, better known by her stage name of “The Fat Lady.” The ship’s capabilities of speed and maneuverability, though clumsy by later standards, caught the attention both of the authorities and of those who would use such power for ill. By the time a set of laws were passed outlawing a “Naranja model” ship, many would-be pirates had commissioned their own works and had begun pilfering works of art, theological relics, and other unique, valuable items as fuel sources. One notable exception was use of the baneship (or, as they called it, “The Holy Beam”) by the sisters of the Pathologic Order. Though the secretive nature of their vows and the protection of their sanctuary have made it impossible for historians and law enforcement to determine where and how these women obtained the plans and resources for a baneship, documentation and photographs clearly indicate that the notorious novices both possessed and took advantage of their own baneship until as late as 1810. Technical Specifications and Weaponry Though plans and documents detailing the construction of a baneship were destroyed by the early-1700s at the behest of Supreme Commander Joffy Jiffenbock, journals and documents from various pirates and engineers at the time suggested the primary elements of a baneship were its outer shell, constructed of an Arlentine compound, and the engine, modified to absorb and convert the energy given off by various relics and other items. This one-of-a-kind power source was the true trademark of a baneship, and allowed pirates to be the sole controllers of their ships, provided they were always in a coherent enough mindset to remember what, precisely, their fuel source was. In some instances, however, such as Harrican Syldanade’s own account of his time in the Northfirst Regions, inability to recall one’s exact fuel source resulted in disaster. Because the baneship was primarily used by those with the intention of overtaking import and export ships and then stripping them of any and all valuables, many models were outfitted with a vast array weaponry. Naranja's Aria was later found to employ, in addition to the not-inconsiderable unpleasantness of the amplified voice of the Fat Lady, beam guns powered by tricesian crystals. Again, the utilization of a nearly singular source made the Aria impossible to compete with (until more baneships were built shortly thereafter). The Argos, however, would eventually boast the most powerful weapon of any baneship, housing the portable Apelagic Generator. One notable difference between the Argos' weaponry and that of other baneships was that the Apelagic Generator was not created and installed on this particular baneship until after Syldanade's retirement from piracy and was not used against other ships. Etymology Though referred to in legal terminology as “Naranja models,” soon after their widespread adoption by pirates (and, inexplicably, the nuns), the ships took on new titles. While news accounts suggest many people referred to them as “those censoring ships,” “those monkey-censoring, baby-robbing, ass-censoring ships” and “the Holy Beam of Saint Agnes Granularity,” the only name that could be put into print or spoken in public without repercussions and fines was “baneship,” signifying the ships’ dreaded pilots and their habit of making themselves the bane of their victims’ existences. Destruction and Disappearance Unfortunately, no physical traces of any baneships exist today, as law dictated immediate and merciless destruction of any baneship found. The last recorded destruction, that of O Fortuna, powered by a leprechaun, was in 1823. Though scant few models are rumored still to exist, at this time, none of have been found.